Musings on Self-Prophecy....

Almost five years ago I was interviewing for a job at a facility for the disabled. Sitting across from me was a man I would come to respect, admire, befriend, and loathe in equal portions in the years to come. But in one moment he became one of my favorite interviewers of all time. And he did it by asking one question:

What would you like to be doing in five years?

Having family members in HR gives you baggage when it comes to your answers in interviews. I had been coached, instructed, and outright ordered not to say too much about my creative ambitions. I had no real background or experience at that time, and one member of my HR mafia had told me that talking about myself was verboden. It was all about what the company needed. I needed to focus on that at all costs.

But, seeing as I already had a bad temp job to go back to in an hour... I figured what the hell.

So I told this man that I was going to be a writer. In five years I would be making a living – if not a profit – by my pen. I believed it. And so did he. I got the job.

It took me three years to get over what I had to go through at that facility. But as the past slips further and further behind me, I can put things – and why they happened – increasingly into perspective. I may not have been able to admit it when I walked out the facility’s doors for the last time, but my time there made me what I am today. It gave me calouses I didn't have, understanding I couldn't have seen otherwise... and a determination to make that one statement true.

I didn’t realize how deep that determination went until I updated my resume (Me go through another round of job searching? How shocking....) and realized it had been almost five years since that wonderful little interview.

Life isn’t perfect. I’m certainly not raking in truckloads of cash I envisioned, and my fiction career has taken a backseat while I’ve built up a client list. But I’ve found a way to write things and have people pay me for the privilege.

It’s been nearly five years and I am a writer. That’s something that would have blown the mind of the girl sitting in that interview. But I honestly believe that the road to get here started because she wasn’t afraid to answer that one good question.




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That old ennui...

Without warning, and entirely against the desires of its residents, winter has come to Cleveland. Multiple feet of the dreaded cold white stuff has been dumped on us, and it seems as though there is more to come.

The end of the year is just around the corner, change coming steadily but inevitably, and I find myself becoming far too introspective than is good for my mental health.

Being a morbid sort of person at heart, each year I look around and wonder why this year was any different from the ones that proceeded it. And, admittedly, most years’ positives and negatives tend to cancel themselves out. Bills were paid, but no progress made in writing. Had my health, but had nothing more to show for my efforts. Its no wonder I get mopey and thoughtful around this time of year.

I’d be lying if I denied that that old Ennui is creeping back into my bones. That deep, thoughtful sadness that typically can only be located in black and white French films where the characters subsist on nothing but coffee and cigarettes. Call it the Blues, call it SAD, call it reality... but lately I find myself thinking back on the failures of the year gone by.

Even with hours upon hours spent with new friends having exciting experiences, I still feel awkward in social situations. I finally found a day job at the institution I’ve been applying to for years... only to have the position be a temp assignment. Granted, it was a temp assignment that could have gone perm, but that carrot has recently been retracted because of an onslaught of legal technicalities.

But even while my psyche is in the grips of a brooding mood, in many ways, this year was really one of the best. Next May will mark my second year as a freelance writer – when I first started I didn’t know if I’d last more than a month. I got to work on ‘Dark of Moon’, meet the Mooner cast and crew, and I got the chance to help out with ‘Chill.’ I organized and started working on my TV Pilot thanks to two consummate pros, a shoestring budget, and some very understanding friends. And – someday in the distant future, when the stars align – we might be able to shoot a scene.

I understand the way life works well enough to know it will all even out in the end. But even in the most logical of people Ennui can stop by on a cold winter’s night and roost for a while.

Things I learned at the Tredara shoot this weekend:

1) DJ will - one way or another - be getting his own personal keg for the wrap party. You know you're in the presence of a fun drunk when the beer-loving Druids start saying they want to give them a beer just to see what they'll do next.

2) If you decide to sleep in your car you'll feel strangely disconnected from the rest of the group... until you wake up the next morning and everyone else is complaining about sleeping on the cold hard ground. Booyah for reclining seats.

3) Everyone has exponentially more fun filming when we're not rolling sound.

4) All of the good takes of make-out scenes should instantly go up on Facebook. And here's Exhibit A: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1333563103#!/video/video.php?v=147997631899364&ref=mf

5) I need to get the BOOM rules and cue cards ready. And sooner rather than later.

6) Nothing made the cast and crew happier than having an excuse to race around the meadow in Sue and Ian's golf cart. Nirvana is an electric car and a green patch to zip across.

7) Pot lucked food is more for dinner and late night munchies, when it comes to breakfast you're on your own.

8) Madison Ohio is heaven on earth, and the close proximity of delicious breakfast-based greasy spoons only proves that further.

9) Noelle was right: we still have a ways to go before things are picture perfect... but I believe if we keep her suggestions in mind, we're off to a great start.

And Now, A Word From Our Co-Producer

Howdy all. Your co-producer Leigh here, in her first 'Dark of Moon' related blog post.

Now, despite having experience with independent shoots before, I have to say things are somewhat different from the co-producer's chair. The decisions are strangely personal, and knowing what our DP, Ass-Prod, and Writer/Co-Producer/Creator o' Worlds think has become critical. Unlike some of my earlier projects, everyone at the top is on the same wavelength and coming up with the same conclusions. And man oh man... is that ever a good feeling!

But like any new experience, I've been learning things about the process of film-making as we go forward. And I thought I might share a few things I've learned so far, just during the first round of auditions for Dark of Moon:

* SOMETIMES IT'S JUST NOT YOUR DAY - We've seen dozens of talented and ambitious actors audition for us. Actors with stellar resumes and true, honest skills. But if they can't make us see them playing one of the characters, we have to wince and move forward. We've already start thinking of how we could write several people into a project further down the line... but that's not helping things right now.

* THE AMOUNT OF TALENT IN 'NEO' IS OBSCENE - Don't get me wrong. We had more than a few 'American Idol' moments during the audition. (Our DP Noelle had to physically restrain herself from screaming 'Next!' once or twice.) But, overall, we have some damn talented people up here. I fully expect to be as blown away during our second round of auditions as I was during our first.

* LOOKING AT AN ACTOR'S AUDITION FOOTAGE IS CRUCIAL - People we thought were spot-on, can suddenly seem just a little off. And actors who we were less than impressive start looking like George Clooney. The suave can look goofy and the drama queens can come across as subdued. And at the end of the day, it's how a person looks on film that counts.

* I SHOULD NOT BE GIVEN BOOZE OF ANY KIND WHILE REVIEWING BAD AUDITION FOOTAGE - Let's just leave it at that.

- Leigh, Production Goddess

Cross Posted To the Official 'Dark of Moon' movie blog

Some thoughts on Fame and Glory via the Internet

In getting at least three major projects off the ground, and trying to keep four regular clients happy while I do so, I've been doing alot of thinking about promoting. Especially how to promote using the internet.

Like many things in life, internet success is simple but not easy. I’ve read a dozen or so articles about the most used formula for internet success. Many have used it. Quite frankly, anyone can duplicate it.

1) Find something you love. That is, something you love to the point of mental illness.

2) Create a vehicle (blog, webpage, podcast, etc) where you can express this love.

3) Set up a schedule as to when you will post updates.

4) Follow it religiously, making sure each new post/page/episode is the best it can be.

5) Talk to people who love what you love, and mention the work you're doing through your vehicle when appropriate.

6) Wait 18 – 24 months.

Julie Powell of “Julie and Julia” fame used that formula. So do my favorite movie sites Spill.com and Rotten Tomatoes. When Brunching Shuttlecocks stopped doing it, it stopped being one of the most popular sites in the world.

That’s another thing about the internet. You can’t stop when you’re tired, or hope the momentum you need will eventually come. There’s no such thing as resting on your laurels.

It’s easy to blame your readers when an internet venture stalls or outright crashes. (And trust me, I've seen more than one mod do just that...) But it’s how consistently YOU produce YOUR content that will make or break you.

And that's one thing the internet has in common with 'real world' ventures.

It doesn’t matter how cool the concept is. If it only stays a concept, it has failed.

That’s something Potential Social Media Moguls - and absentminded bloggers like Yours Truly - need to keep in mind.

The briefest of victory dances

One of my many LinkedIn groups is – was – a writer’s group.

I joined it primarily because the name was cool. I checked out updates, when they came, and went about my business.

But I never got that involved. At least, not until the angry, mass e-mail.

The founder of the group – who had created it to encourage discussion AND promote his magazine – was absolutely furious. Apparently he wanted to know why so few people were using the group and he put up a poll for us to take. Over the course of 3 weeks, only two people had responded. He called us all shiftless and worthless, and accused us of joining the group to ‘Pad (Our) Resumes.’ And he promised to take the group down if there wasn’t a sincere response within the week.

When given the choice, I usually chip in to make sure online endeavors stay alive. So I went to the group’s page to see what had been going on. I had forgotten why I’d been paying a minimal amount of attention to the group… and revisiting going back refreshed my memory.

Unlike my other groups there was no reason for the members to interact. There were no job postings, no consistent writing contests, and no daily or weekly posts by the Group’s creator.

So I wrote a long response to the group. I mentioned that it was no wonder that the things had stagnated, if those who ran it weren’t making a consistent effort to stir the proverbial pot.

I even ended the post with the catchy sentence: “YOU sent out these invitations, it’s YOUR job to host.”

Perhaps it was a sign of my critical prowess that the group was closed shortly thereafter.

Of course, my smugness only lasted for a moment. I had to remind myself that my own blog had been sitting alone, bereft of new content, for at least a month.

D’oh.

Always room for beer...

When I was in college, and hanging out with those groups of friends who will make a conscious effort not to contact each other after graduation, I remember a joke popping up.

A science professor is explaining something – I believe it was atomic weight – and in order to show how much material can be packed into a defined amount of space, he pulls out a large glass vase.

First he fills the vase with large, round, smooth river rocks. He packs as many rocks as he can into the space, and then asks his students if he can fit anything else in there. They tell him no.

Then the professor pulls out a bag of gravel and pours it into the vase. While the entire bag cannot be poured in, there is enough space between the stones that most of it makes it in. Then the professor asks once again if the students think anything else can get in there. The no this time is uncertain, but still unanimous.

Then the professor pulls out a bag of sand. Again, the entire bag doesn’t make it in, but enough does to prove that there is still space within the jar. The professor explains that the students should be conscious of the open space within ‘solid’ objects. That some objects can take more than they expect before they reach a full capacity like the vase has now.

One of the students, who wears his baseball cap at odd angles and is seen more often in the downtown bars than in class, suddenly raises his hand. He says loudly and clearly that isn’t true. Astonished that a student who barely made an effort before is suddenly interested enough to test this theory, the professor asks him why.

The student then goes up to the front of the class, pulls a can of beer from his backpack and proceeds to pour the contents into the vase. He manages to get the entire can into the vase.

“No matter how tightly your life is packed,” he says with a smart-alec grin, “there’s always room for beer.”

What can I say? It was funny in college.